is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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