I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
