So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
