It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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