Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
