I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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