when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
