I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
