you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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