sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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