i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?