Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
