Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize