Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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