So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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