you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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