youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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