You're my little dorito
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
