I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
