nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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