My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize