mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
