Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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