i need an iv and a liver transplant
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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