Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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