im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
