i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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