ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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