Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
