just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize