Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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