You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize