Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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