Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize