I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it glows. i had to have it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
