i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
