i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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