So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize