Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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