put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
