So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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