my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
