i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
