I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
