hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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