In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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