is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
