we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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