i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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