it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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