I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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