put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
