I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im having a threesome with these popsicles
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
