found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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