Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
