So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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