Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize