So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize