it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
