my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
