we made out on top of his cat.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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