ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it penis luge time yet?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
