I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize